By Anne Leone
“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken!” Oscar Wilde
How many times have you told yourself you were too anxious / weak / shy / stupid…? Or did you grow up with parents or teachers telling you, you were too lazy, too loud or too vivid? Other times, we simply felt “not enough”.
By the latest, when we applied for a job, we were taught how to present ourselves and how to promote perceived weaknesses in strength. In addition, there are tons of tutorials nowadays on how to market ourselves on the socials.
It seems that our “being” is in constant need for correction and filters, which is why often, along the journey, we started disconnecting from ourselves and – worst case – stopped liking ourselves.
Astonishingly, the simple question “Do you like yourself?” provokes unpleasant feelings in most of us. Whereas we are so used to push the thumbs-up-button for others, we find it hard to like ourselves. The few of us who are courageous enough to give a positive answer to said question, feel the need to minimize immediately by naming a couple of flaws.
I reckon that in times where we find it hard to differentiate the truth from the false, the copy from the original and most of the pictures we are looking at have been modified by filters, more than ever are we asked to stand up to and be proud of the true version of ourselves.
The intention of my workshop was precisely that: to encourage each participant to fall in love with his/her own uniqueness and realign with their individual needs, desires and talents. When this happens in a person, the result is tangible – people that live their wonderful self seem to emanate a special energy, they literally glow. And success follows easily – as a natural consequence.
Plus, besides them feeling healthy and happy, it is a pure joy to spend time with these people. They are at peace with themselves, and they are the changemakers in their environment. Do you know that person who succeeds in anything they touch? Chances are high, they followed their heart, found their mission and enrolled in the flow.
Isn’t it astonishing that for most of us it is not that easy, though, to get an understanding of self. WHO am I? What makes me ME? We can think of ourselves as a puzzle: a set of values, habits, preferences, strengths, presumed weaknesses, talents and beliefs all put together that create a unique picture of each person. Maybe it is our mission in life to find all those missing pieces and put them together until we feel satisfied and complete with our masterpiece? But watch out: You might want to check carefully which beliefs from your childhood you want to keep and which ones might be obstacles on your journey. And who knows: What if that weakness you have been fighting to hide or overcome turns out to be your competitive edge? It’s all a matter of interpretation!
We can consult personality tests like Myers Briggs and other support such as Human Design or astrology charts to gain a better understanding, but the best bet is to connect with yourself and listen to your heart. What makes it beat faster? Which activity makes you feel completely absorbed?
Which version of you do you prefer – and with whom do you have the idea of being your authentic self? What is the best way to charge your mental and physical batteries?
You might wonder how you can really understand when you are your trueself! Well, it is easy to realize when you are not: Feeling constantly drained and tired, being frustrated or angry, or in a state of anxiety, might be a clear hint that you operate from your not-self!
The clear driver when being aligned to YOU is love. Whereas when we live in fear, chances are high that we are operating against our values and needs, and our mental and/or physical health will suffer from this on the long run.
If you need more proof on this topic, I invite you to check out the 12 stages of burnout by Freudenberger. The disconnection from our self happens slowly but surely and with every step away from us we are one step closer to burnout.
To conclude, long-term and sustainable success depends on authentic self-love. When we realign to our hearts and open the space to operate from our true selves, we will become unstoppable and irresistible – on a private, as well as on the professional level.
As a first simple step, start convincing yourself that you are perfect with all your imperfections and lovable just the way you are. Repeating affirmations of self-love will shift your perception and with a bit of training, it doesn’t even feel weird anymore. Try it out: I am enough. I am grateful for whom I am. I respect my needs and deserve to be respected. I love myself and am loveable.
Another great idea is reconnecting with your inner child. Offer yourself opportunities to play, spend time in nature and stunningly observe the beauty of a butterfly landing on a flower, just as you did as a child. Jump in paddles. Paint a picture. Hop on a swing. Dance in your living room. Do whatever makes your heart smile. Surround yourself with people that feel like sunshine to you.
In the beginning, it might not be so easy to get in touch with your emotions, but the more often you consciously try to listen to them, the better you’ll get an understanding of what feeds you and what doesn’t, what charges your batteries or what dims your personal light.
As an Indian proverb puts it: You are a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual one. The call is to take care of all four rooms, aligning our heart, soul, body and mind.
When was the last time you checked your emotional or spiritual room? Go have a look and offer it some fresh air! You can always ask for help, if you have a hard time opening those doors! Take care and … BE TRUE TO YOU! YOU ARE UNIQUE!
ANNE LEONE • LIFE & LEADERSHIP COACH • PSYCH-K® Facilitator
www.mamaleone-coach.com • T. 345 358 59 62 • P. IVA 03030280121
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